NOV
27 2005 SUNDAY
I
think people are getting smarter
Wow!
It appears that people are finally getting smarter. Did you see Honda's
new dog car?
It's great. It has built in carriers and beds, the floors don't have
carpet so the messes are easier to clean up. The glove box opens
into a small dog carrier. Even the tires have paw prints in the
tread. This has to be the best invention ever!! Now, if I can
figure out how to drive, I'd be set.
NOV
26 2005 SATURDAY
Dog
Drool
Every
morning when Mom is working on the computer, she reads me stories.
This one is the best. It seems that there is a soda manufacturer
that has made a soda flavor "Dog
Drool".
The story says that Avery's Beverages in New Britain,
Conn., has bottled some "disgusting" new soda flavors and
one of the new flavors is Dog Drool. This is great! Finally,
people will stop complaining about drool and start drinking it.
Drool doesn't taste bad at all, you should try it.
NOV
24 2005 THURSDAY
Happy
Thanksgiving
Happy
Thanksgiving! I have so many things to be thankful for this
year. I have a forever home, a warm bed, great friends and meals
twice a day. The
only thing that I don't understand about this holiday is the food.
Mom gets up super early and starts cooking. The house smells so good
and sometimes things fall on the floor for me to eat (that mushy orange
stuff is gross). Then, after a few hours Dad takes all of the food
outside and Mom and Dad get in the car and drive away. What, are
they afraid to share with us? This has happened every year since
I've lived with my people. Where does the food go? The
Golden dog thinks they take it to eat with other people. She said
she overheard Mom taking on the ringing box about taking food
somewhere. Maybe there are other dogs they are seeing. I
smelled them when they got home and they smelled good but not like other
dogs. The
Black Dog doesn't care. He said it doesn't matter because Mom never
gives us people food anyway. I think that he is just mad because he
is so fat. I bet they would feed us treats if he would get off his
butt and loose some of his girth. He got caught on Tuesday eating
the Golden's food after he already finished his breakfast. He
growled at Mom when she took it away so she made him go outside.
Someday he'll learn. I'm
just waiting for Mom and Dad to come home. The warm lap they provide
is better than any scraps.
NOV
16 2005 WEDNESDAY
Let's
Go Shopping ... NOW!
Have you heard?
December 13th is the day that "A Dog's Life: A Dogamentary"
comes out on DVD. This is a great movie about, what else, dogs and
their lives!!! Check out the web site www.dogamentary.com
and see Chelsea, the Shih Tzu Diva. Oh, I wish I had her life.
She is so talented and beautiful. Now,
put it on your calendar - December 13th - and get that DVD for all of your
dog friends (and their people).
NOV
15 2005 TUESDAY
A
Really Bad Day
Mom has been too busy to
type for me. I have so much to tell you but I just don't have the
skills to put it in writing. Mom promised me this morning that when
she got home from work she would help me. Yesterday
was a really bad day. I like weekends when my people stay home and I
really wanted Mom to stay home today because I had a tummy ache. I
tried to stay in bed but the Golden kept wanting to play. We were
running through the house chasing each other when I realized I was in
trouble. My tummy was turning and next thing you know, projectile
vomiting. I got sick in the living room, the dining room, the
hallway, the theater and the bedroom before I could get outside. What
a mess, vomit everywhere! I knew that I had to get it cleaned up and
quick. Mom would be home any second and there was a mess
everywhere. The Golden being the dog that she is tried to help but
watching her just made me sicker (I won't go into to details but if you
think about it for a minute you'll know what I'm talking about). I
went outside to wait for Mom and to get away from the freak dog in the
house. Mom
finally came home and saw all of the spots where I got sick. She
didn't even yell or anything. She got out the stain spray and
started cleaning up the mess. It didn't take long and when she was
done she took me and the Black Dog outside to play, then it
happened. I was making a puddle by the power pole when the Black Dog
decided to make a puddle of his own, on me. He peed all over my left
side and leg (he's a lot taller than me). Now Mom was yelling.
She was yelling at me to get in the house and yelling at the Black Dog for
peeing on me. You'd
think that my day couldn't get worse but I knew what was coming. Mom
tricked me into going into the bathroom - the room with too much
water. I hate water but what choice did I have. I smelled
terrible and I was wet with dog pee. Mom made me get into the shower
with her then she closed the door. I was petrified because she was
picking up that plastic thing that the water comes out of. I hate
water. If I was supposed to get wet I'd be a duck. So I closed
by eyes, started to shake and waited for the inevitable. The warm
water wasn't too bad and Mom wasn't getting my head wet, she only washed
me where I got peed on. She said it was too cold and too late for a
bath. Yeah! We were only in there for a minute, then we were
done. Mom got the big fluffy towel out and dried me and cuddled
me. I
guess today wasn't all bad after all.
NOV
7 2005 MONDAY
Belly
Rubs
I can't think of anything I would rather do
than have my belly rubbed. I think it is better than chew toys, cats
and naps. The Golden doesn't seem to care much about having her
belly rubbed but the Black Dog and I love it. This
morning was great. Mom got up way too early, before 4am, and went
into the living room. We all go with her in the morning so that dad
can sleep. Mom knew we were all still sleepy so she sat on the floor
with us so we could have our morning cuddle. I laid down right in
front of her and the Black Dog laid down next to me. We both rolled
over and mom gave us a belly rub for a couple of minutes. I tell
you, it was heaven. I was thinking about how great it is to lay on
the carpet and have my people rub my tummy without even
asking. I
wish my people could get me a tummy rubbing machine that works like their
massage chair. The look on their face when they're in their massage
chair is just like the Black Dog's when he is getting his belly
rubbed. You know that they are enjoying it because their eyes close
and they look so relaxed. Okay
Santa, listen up. I want a tummy rubbing machine for
Christmas. Please. And maybe you could put a little cat and a
new ball in my stocking. Thanks.
NOV
3 2005 THURSDAY
Howling
Winds and Dog Treats
Yesterday was terrible. The winds were "howling" (what a stupid term for something that didn't come from a dog) and it was really cold. I hate
going outside when it is windy because we have these great big bushes that blow
all over when it's windy and they hurt my toes when I step on them.
I was in dad's media room sleeping on the couch when the Golden dog came in with
something in here mouth. I went over to check it out and she growled at me.
The stuff she had smelled great but she didn't want to share.
I decided I needed to go outside and investigate and ... JACKPOT! There it was
... garbage everywhere. It was garbage day and it seems that all of the garbage
cans in the neighborhood blew over and the trash blew up against our fence. This
is the stuff that mom never lets us eat.
Now, we have this metal chain link fence that I had to figure out how to get
the big stuff through. The bigger problem is that there is also an electric fence
wire that sticks out about six inches from the fence to keep the Black Dog from
digging his way out. Touching that wire hurts but I knew what I had to do. I had
to get the Golden dog to come outside and help. She's not afraid of that wire so
I knew she could grab the garbage and pull some through for me.
I went back in the house and made my move. Running full speed I side swiped
her and grabbed the garbage she was eating. She got up and started to chase me
so I ran out the doggy door knowing she would follow. Once we were outside I gave
her back her stuff back and then went on to plead my case. Within a few minutes
she was getting enough trash for us all. It was great. This is what being a dog
is all about; glorious, smelly, good tasting (well most of it) garbage.
I had something that smelled like fish, some squishy stuff and something kind
of green and brown. There was lots of candy which would have been better except
it was hard to get all of the paper off of it so I ate the paper too. I ate until
I got too cold and went back in the house and curled up on the couch. I slept for
a little while before my tummy started to really hurt. Right before mom got home
I started getting really sick to my stomach and started throwing up in the living
room. The other dogs were sick too but the Golden dog wasn't throwing. The smell
that dog created made me throw up even more.
Mom finally came home and all I remember is her yelling something about the
smell then coming to find me. I tried to hide in the closet but she caught up with
me before I could get there. Oh my god, she was soooooo mad. She went outside
to check on the Black Dog. At least he had sense enough to stay outside and be
sick. Heck, he'd stay outside in a blizzard if he had his way.
The moral to this story is if you're going to eat garbage, stay outside. If
it wasn't so cold I'd be locked outside for sure. Oh well, the carpet cleaner guy
will be here tomorrow morning and he really likes us.
NOV
29 2005 SATURDAY
BOO!
Halloween Is Not For Dogs
The
black dog just told me that Monday is Halloween. Oh goody, we're all
going to have to get dressed up in stupid clothes again. Mom is killing me
with these outfits. The only good thing about it is the Golden and the
Black Dog have to get dressed up too. What will it be this
year? Last
year, Mom found some hideous hats for us to wear. The one she put
on me was a spider. I hated it! The Golden and the Black Dog
both wore monster hats. God, we looked so dumb. We got
together and when Mom wasn't looking, we helped each other tear the hats
off and then took them outside. Dad went outside and got the hats
and made us wear them for almost an hour. It was pure torture! 
The
year before, I was a devil and the Golden was an angel. Oh, what a
stretch that was. Even Mom and Dad laughed about the Golden being
an angel. It's not that she's a bad dog but she is the one always
causing trouble. 
Come
on people, please don't dress us up. We are cute just as we are
and we don't want to be a reindeer, superman, a princess or anything
else that could cause us tremendous embarrassment. Just give us
treats and we'll call it good.
OCT
26 2005 WEDNESDAY
Raining
Cats & Dogs
Today's weather forecast is terrible
because they are talking about rain. I imagine that by the end of
the weather forecast some idiot will say "it will be raining cats and
dogs". I have been around quite a while and not once have cats
falling from the sky. In my dreams, it would be raining cats all day long
and I would chase them and catch them and ... oh well, it's only a dream.
You'd better believe that if cats ever did start falling from the sky, I'd be
right there to catch I mean save them. I hate the rain and I hate
water. I mean, what is the purpose of getting wet? I don't
stink and I know I don't need a bath so why would I want to get wet?
The black dog likes to lay outside and get wet. What an idiot.
Then he does "smell like a wet dog". He's a good guy just not
too terribly bright. Mom
knows how much I hate water so she went out and bought me a rain coat last
winter. Is she kidding? I'm a dog and I don't want to get laughed at
by
everyone. As soon as she put that stupid thing on me I bolted out the
door. Behind me I could hear the black dog and the Golden laughing
hysterically. Then, when I'm almost ready to do my thing, I start getting
taunted by the dogs next door. I was humiliated. Thank goodness the
Golden has a heart and she came to my rescue and helped me rip that stupid coat
off. We left it out in the far corner of the yard so Mom couldn't get to
it until after the storm. Mom was mad but I don't know how else she is
ever going to learn that dogs don't need coats.
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